I have a good life. I don't have a lot of underlying stress or ongoing issues. I am stable and comfortable. Maybe a little too comfortable sometimes. I am not stretching myself enough. In my little cave all is well.
However I have something stirring deep inside of me. God is calling me to get more involved is several areas in a deeper and more profound way. Engaging in potentially confrontational areas and testing my ability to handle more fills me with a sense of trepidation. By doing more am I going to lose what I have or is what I have what I really want in life. A song keeps going through my head every time I'm in situations where I feel I should say something or do more. I'll post the song in this blog, the lyrics "there must be more than this" from the song Consuming Fire have gone through my head often in recent times.
I should say I have been stepping out of my green zone more and more. That being said there is more to be done. Some scripture is also playing in my mind more too, "The harvest is great but the workers are few" has been an ongoing theme. Over the last several days a portion of the sermon on the mount has been on my mind as well. In Mathew 5 when Jesus is talking about giving to the one who asks and don't turn away from the one who wants to borrow. That I never really understood and I took it to be literal and was confused by it. I prayed and meditated on it and God gave me an epiphany. It is not about money for me, it is about time, abilities and resources. I have experience and talents that I have chosen to ignore all in the name of being comfortable and not in situations of potential confrontation. I know that is going to change as I have a moral obligation to lend a hand when I have been asked not once but twice to step in to one particular situation.
So I'm going to step up to the plate. Put my best effort into it. God would settle for nothing less and I can only do it with him and through him. Let there not be a moment I try to lean on my own understanding because that leads to nothing good. This is a test, this is only a test and I am ready to take on what God wants me to. No matter what the outcome I am going to know this and that his power will lead me if I choose to follow. I tend to get full of myself and put my pride ahead of others. Lord let me be gracious and humble on the road ahead.
Here's the video for Consuming Fire
There is more than this, God let your glory fall in this place, Amen!